I am about to be introduced to the magic that is Osmoprep.
Thirty-two industrial strength laxative tablets to be taken four at a time in 15 minute intervals. Each grip of tablets is to be consumed with 8 ounces of water. Guaranteed, I am told, to steam clean the old digestive tract, and quite possibly, convert my bog into a totally organic launch point for low Earth orbit. Take notes, Morton Thiokal. Though I doubt the particulate pollution problem will be reduced…..
For it is written that tomorrow morning, your humble correspondent will present his sparkling clean butthole and associated internal environs for inspection via high resolution video taped to a rusty sewer snake.
Maybe I’ll finally find the clip to that Ruger 9mm I misplaced 10 years ago. Cross your fingers.